Free To* _____

It's been a month since starting my integrated production internship at Barkley. To be honest, it was a very rough start for me. The first few weeks were filled with an abundance of excitement and anxiety. I would sometimes even confuse the two feelings. Moving 11 hours away from home, family, friends, and my boyfriend, took a toll on me. It was hard coming home every day to a lonely dorm room instead of a comfy couch with a snuggly pup. However, there was no denying that Barkley seemed to be a great place to work. There were colors, friendly smiles, and free food everywhere. So why was I so anxious every morning?

I wanted it to stop. I needed it to stop if I wanted to make the most out of this experience.

In my first week, Barkley held its annual celebration of the ideas of the past year and those of the future. This year's theme was Free To* _____ (asterisk required). You fill in the blank. The asterisk stands for knowing that there is always more to the story, invites you to go further, look deeper, try harder. It's permission to do something; anything. At the end of the celebration, they asked everyone to reflect and complete in their Free To* statement. The first thing that popped into my mind was Free To* PUSH. Free to push myself to do more, to be unconformable, to finish what I started. Free to push others and ask for help, to be a resource to me.

Fast forward four weeks--I still come home to an empty dorm room, but it's different now. I've bonded with my roommate. I've made friends with people at work. I'm comfortable with the transit system now. I'm more comfortable with being uncomfortable than I was during that first week. I have pushed myself to realize that everything will be okay. I have pushed myself to believe that I deserve to work here and that I'm not a bother. I will continue to push myself because I am free to do anything.